My 30th Birthday Wish - A blog that takes the holistic approach
A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE: HUMAN LIFE HAPPENS IN THIRDS
Recently, while attending a lecture at my meditation teacher’s house, I learned that in Ayurvedic tradition, a philosophy of medicine rooted in India, it is thought that the human lifespan happens in thirds…
The first third is up until the last day of your 29th birthday.
And the second third begins at age 30.
Although it wasn’t until after that lecture that I really began to understand Ayurvedic Philosophy, in a way, I realized I had been living through the lens of this 5,000-year-old approach to life since I was 17.
During the lecture, I learned that yoga and meditation are a huge part of Ayurveda. I found yoga after quitting the dance team my sophomore year of high school. I struggled with anxiety and depression throughout high school and college and the movement of yoga and the philosophy the practice embodies helped me cope. However, the pressure I felt during my first master’s degree started to make coping more difficult even with a pretty consistent yoga practice. My amazing mom heard on the Howard Stern show that Transcendental Meditation helped people to manage their life stressors. So the summer after my first year of graduate school she paid for me to learn how to do it.
My relationship with yoga and meditation ebbed and flowed throughout my 20s and I still struggled with anxiety and depression. I think most can agree that the pandemic exacerbated anxiety and depression in much of our population. For me, it wasn’t until restrictions started to lift that I realized how bad it had gotten and the unhealthy habits I had developed to cope.
I remember looking at myself one day during 2021 (when most of us returned to in-person events and work) and admitting to myself I was miserable, despite having just married my best friend and landing my dream job.
I knew I did not want to feel this way and I knew it was possible for me to feel better.
I also knew that my husband and I were ready to have a baby. For me, bringing a child into the world meant I had to change some habits. I slowly stopped taking my psychiatric medications (with the help of my doctor) and I committed to my meditation and yoga. Every single morning, I would drink 32 oz of water, practice 15-20 minutes of yoga, and do a 10-minute meditation.
At the time, I still didn’t have a name for this approach to healing. I was just using the skills and knowledge I had to help myself feel better.
It wasn’t until that lecture at my meditation teacher’s home that I really began to have a label for my approach to healing and life.
The way I committed to approaching life, and the lifestyle I had been working toward since age 17, embodies Ayurvedic Philosophy, or a holistic approach that includes the mind, body, and spirit.
When I found out I was pregnant in June 2022, I became really sick and really anxious. I didn’t find the answers I was looking for from my general doctors, so I found many different approaches to healing that also embodied what I now can say is an Ayurvedic approach.
Now that I am on the other side with a beautiful 3-month-old daughter, I want to share everything I have learned during that time with others through my writing.
I have been teaching English for 8 years (current high school sophomores and seniors) and I have been writing since I was in high school but have yet to fully integrate that practice into my everyday life or as a serious part of my career.
Part of my holistic approach is to honor my desires - one of which is to write every day and to share my writing with others. This year on New Year’s Eve, I purchased this website domain and made a promise to myself that as I began my 30th year (and the second third of my life) I would start this blog.
A BLOG THAT TAKES A HOLISTIC APPROACH
The purpose of this blog, although not wholly rooted in Ayurveda, is to teach my peers the skills and practices that I embody so they can also feel better and create sustainable habits for a happier, more balanced life for themselves and their families.
I have decided to dedicate my blog to this because I want the people I love to feel better. I know what it is like to feel bad, to be scared, to be depressed, and I have found practices that have healed me and allowed me to move through life pretty peacefully. My hope is that you, the reader, will find comfort in my stories and inspiration through my teachings. And that you can implement some of these practices and lifestyle changes into your life to achieve love, safety, and connection.
Maybe you weren’t in the same place I was after the pandemic (or not also a new mom), but if you even have an inkling that life could (and should) feel better than it does, then hopefully by continuing to read my blog you can also be inspired to take steps to help yourself feel better. You can feel better and you are not stuck.
Sometimes, I still feel stuck. But through the practices I embody I am always able to find a way through, to continue to move forward and grow, and to return to what feels good for me: mind, body, and spirit.
AYURVEDA: MY CURRENT UNDERSTANDING AND THE PRINCIPLES I LIVE BY
Part of my practice is to always be open to learning and growth. So although I don’t know everything about Ayurveda, I do know that it approaches each individual life holistically by focusing on what works for each person’s body, each person’s mind, and each person’s spirit. My intention in life has always been to find the balance between these three aspects and I thought I was pretty balanced before I became pregnant. However, the health issues that arose during the beginning of my pregnancy proved this false.
My first trimester was the hardest thing I had ever been through in my life.
One of the practices that carried me through my pregnancy was meditation. Before finding out I was pregnant I had been using guided meditations but I wanted to recommit to Transcendental Meditation because I had been reading a lot of peer-reviewed research about the incredible benefits it provides. I found a meditation teacher in my area and began practicing 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening. This is what led me to the Ayurveda lecture at his house.
Even before attending that lecture and understanding more about Ayurveda, I had begun to incorporate even more of the principles - such as using food as medicine. This was simply because I was pregnant and most medications weren’t an option.
As I read more about Ayurveda, I learned that at its core, this philosophy of life understands that we are what we consume - mind, body, and spirit. It is different from the Western Approach that focuses on fixing symptoms. Instead, it is about creating a life inside of yourself that is sustainable and healthy.
What I love about Ayurveda, is that it is all about accepting different modes of healing and self-care. You don’t have to feel that if you don’t subscribe to every part of this way of living then you are doing it wrong. To take what works for you and to leave behind what doesn’t, is in fact doing it right.
Ultimately, the purpose is for each individual to create a life that works for them. It has nothing to do with changing who you are, but instead discovering what helps you feel the best. Finding your own balance.
This was exciting to me and so because I was pregnant I started researching natural ways I could continue to help myself feel better and find balance.
The other approaches to healing I found, although not all rooted in India - massage, reiki, acupuncture, Transcendental Meditation, and psychotherapy through the lens of yoga - worked for the Ayurvedic approach because they address the person as a whole.
(I plan to write about all of these healing modalities separately but if you have questions before I do, hit a girl up!)
The amazing experiences I had and the results I saw convinced me that this holistic approach to health, and life, is truly the only way to heal, thrive, and find true peace.
As I continue to embody this holistic approach to my life, I want to share my lifestyle practices with others - and this platform will allow me to do so. I hope that my writing will inspire others to embrace this philosophy, too. I believe that when I am better, you are better.
I AM BETTER BECAUSE YOU ARE BETTER: COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY
I have learned through experience that I always felt better when I was around positive people with open minds. I recently read about a South African Philosophy, Umbanda, that embodies a principle of no competition and lives by the message: I am better because you are better.
Why I am committed
Although my 20s were very hard for me, I found relationships that constantly challenged me to grow and be better. I integrated every experience I had and learned from watching others walk through their lives and how I wanted to move forward on my own.
My most recent example of this was when 3 of my closest friends had babies before me. I was able to watch them as they became parents and learn from them as models. I was somewhat insecure about becoming a mom myself, but I stayed curious and leaned into helping them.
One of my friends had twins. She taught me a very important lesson about motherhood: make sure to continue to find the things that bring you joy.
I have held onto that and committed to that every day. I watched my friend with twins continue to work on her relationship with herself, her girls, and her husband and grow, and I thought to myself “I want to be better because she is better.”
I never felt competition with any of my friends. I was just eager to learn from them and continue to be better for myself and my family.
I am better when you are better.
And I know that my family will benefit from my commitment to continue to better myself.
Why you should commit
Last week I met the girls in my senior English class in our school courtyard to chat. I wanted to tell them more about this writing project and ask them their thoughts. I have embedded my holistic principles into all of my high school classes so they are very familiar with my way of life. I asked them what obstacles women their age were facing. They listed the following:
Perfectionism
Comparison
Time management
Lack of purpose
Systems that have failed them
Anxiety
Depression
We talked about what could be underneath these feelings and decided together that it is really intense and overwhelming to know what choices to make for the future and to decide how we define life for ourselves, separate from all the noise the world throws at us.
I often have the same conversations with my closest friends and other moms and what I find is that we all share these same struggles.
My therapist and I have been talking about what was underneath these struggles. Struggles I faced all through adolescence and you adulthood. We decide that underneath these feelings is the fear of not being enough.
Am I enough as a mom?
Am I enough as a wife?
Am I enough in my career?
Am I enough as a friend?
I have taught my high school seniors skills that I hope they will apply throughout their lives. Not only reading and writing skills but self-care and advocacy skills. I have taught them how to approach the world with a critical lens while still finding the good in everything. I have taught them how to feel confident in the decisions they make about their futures. And I have taught them how to sit in meditation.
These skills are practices have been a part of my life for the past 13 years and I now feel confident to say that they are skills and practices I truly embody. Most of the time, they allow me to answer the questions above with a confident YES.
Am I enough as a mom? Yes.
Am I enough as a wife? Yes.
Am I enough in my career? Yes.
Am I enough as a friend? Yes.
I want the girls in my senior English class to feel confident to always answer these questions the same way. And I want that for my peers, too.
DO YOU WANT TO BE AN INFLUENCER? THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
Of course, I feel like I should address the elephant in the room for those of you who have already been following along with my life on social media platforms:
Do I want to be an influencer? Sure.
Don’t we all?
I would argue that we all already are influencers, with or without the clout. We influence those around us daily, for better or worse. We are all connected, even in a world where at times we feel wholly alone.
So yes, I do hope to influence. But not in a way that is the short form content that we scroll through mindlessly - searching for an answer that will quickly fix our problems.
I can’t fix your problems for you.
You can do that.
And I do hope to influence you.
MY TRUEST INTENTION
Because my truest intention in life is love.
And I know what it feels like to feel like you’re not enough.
And I know what it feels like to feel intensely overwhelmed about what choices to make and how to define a life for yourself separate from all the noise the world throws at us.
I feel that the first third of my life (birth to age 30) was full of noise. I have decided to think about that first third of my life as childhood and adolescence. A time when I tried on all the hats and listened to the noise. I am approaching the second third (having just turned age 30) as my true step into adulthood.
I no longer feel like the noise defines me. I sit in quiet meditation every day and return to myself. I am grounded.
Of course, I am always growing and evolving - growth will never stop for me. But I now feel like I can truly sift through information and decide who I want to continue to become for myself and my family because I already know who I am. Now. In the present moment.
My name is Allie. I am a new mom, I am a teacher, I am a student, I am a writer, I am a wife, I am a friend, I am a sister, a daughter, a yogi, and
This blog is for me and it is for you. To learn how to feel confident in who you are and to learn from the practices I embody to do the best for yourself and your family.
In addition to my posts about health and wellness, I plan to share stories about myself, my family, and my friendships, too!
MY HOPE: DO IT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY
Today, I hope you drink a glass of water. I hope you spend some time with yourself in silence. Maybe, make a small commitment to do this for the next 10 days. See what happens and get back to me. I would love to hear.
More soon
AJ
